


Love comes in the form of an 8-inch penis (cake)

by habitate



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 05:59:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13757766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/habitate/pseuds/habitate
Summary: So leading a small business isn't easy. And sometimes you need to get creative to stay afloat. And sometimes all it takes is an 8-inch penis cake to bring two people together





	Love comes in the form of an 8-inch penis (cake)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Infinite Secret Valentine fic exchange <3
> 
> Prompt: A (Sungyeol) isn't B's (Myungsoo's) ideal type, but A (Sungyeol) slowly creeps inside B's (Myungsoo's) heart without him noticing. 

***

 

Myungsoo looks over the papers lying on the small metal table with a tentative gaze. He closes his eyes, rubbing at them with his thumb and index finger, before drawing in a sharp breath when he hears the little silver bell at the door tinkle. 

 

So leading a small business isn't easy. 

 

First, he needs to pay for everything; the rent, the lease for all the appliances and their electricity bills, the occasional disaster when something breaks down in the kitchen, the salaries of the employees and himself, of course, and the list goes on and on but those are the priorities he absolutely cannot forget. 

 

Second, he needs to supervise everything; see if everything and everyone is in working order, that the schedule has been arranged fairly, that some people stop fooling around during working hours-  Myungsoo glances over at the door where the guilty-as-charged is standing, shaking dry snowflakes out of his hair. Two bright eyes find his own, smile brimming with happiness.

 

Lee Sungyeol. 

 

Is annoying. 

 

But also the pastry chef.

 

'Hey.'

 

'Hey Myungie. How are you doing in this wonderful, snowy morning?' the cheerful being asks, gleeful ignorant.

 

It's five o’clock in the morning and it's freezing cold outside, how does Lee Sungyeol think he's doing? 

 

'Fine,' Myungsoo mutters under his nose, sitting down in front of the papers and getting out his glasses to start working.

 

The joys of being a small business owner is that he doesn't even have his own office. Instead he sits in the dining area, sorting through everything before the clients start pouring in. Sungyeol is humming to himself, obviously in a good mood as always, as he rummages around. He checks something behind the tables and the counter - probably looking for his own brain - before disappearing in the kitchen.

 

'Any new orders?' he yells from there before reappearing in the doorway with a flowery apron tied around his slim hips, 'any more of those special order cakes?' he snorts, extremely pleased with himself which makes Myungsoo (inwardly) whimper. 

 

So leading a small successful business is really difficult, apparently. 

 

The cafe is doing fine most of the times but they do need something to stay afloat during the critical months of the year when customers dry up thanks to some new, crazy celebrity diet that's going viral for all the wrong reasons. No diet ever includes eating cakes, sadly, no matter how much Myungsoo has advertised for that. Long story short, once he started researching the market to see what niche he could fill in, he found a growing interest in - he clears his throat with a rough cough - custom made 'adult themed' cakes. A niche thing, really, but it paid well.

 

He looks over the two new orders which came in just yesterday, suddenly slapping the papers down with an annoyed expression.

 

Who is he kidding. 

 

Penises.

 

Their customers all want penises. Large, small, veiny, different colored and sometimes sparkly penises. They get new orders for penis-shaped cakes almost every day and the demand is growing. He's damn lucky his pastry chef is so good at making them.

 

Myungsoo looks up from his paper and wants to say something to Sungyeol and his smug expression but then the bell rings again and Myungsoo glances over to the door instead. His heart jumps small puppy somersaults as he does, the corners of his lips involuntary turning upwards.

 

'Hey!' Dongwoo, their delivery guy, greets and Myungsoo greets back. 

 

He's been enamoured with the other since the first time he laid his eyes on him. He's Myungsoo's ideal type, so to say, as he’s small, sturdy, has a perky ass and would fit perfectly in his arms. There's only one problem with the other and that is -

 

'I'm sorry I’m late, the wife kept nagging me first thing in the morning. Told me to take out the trash even though all the containers were frozen shut.'

 

He's married. 

 

Myungsoo sighs in defeat, planting his face flat on the cold table surface. So much for ideal types. Whenever he meets someone that tickles his interest, they are either taken or straight. 

 

'Hey, Dino!' he hears Sungyeol yelling out and turns to look at him. Sure, his smile is overflowing with warmth and happiness and Myungsoo wonders how does he manage to look like he loves his life every single day. Sungyeol opens his arms and rushes towards Dongwoo like they haven't seen each other in ages, the older doing the same in return.  

 

'Yolie!' he hollers back as he lifts him up and twirls him around a couple of times - Myungsoo raises a critical eyebrow at that - 'I missed you so much!’

 

'I know! I missed you as well, I thought I would die!'

 

‘Exactly!’

 

'Hey! Knock it off the both of you,' Myungsoo groans, his mood suddenly worsening even when he thought it impossible, 'Dongwoo had a day off, he didn’t die.' He's really not amused by their antics.

 

‘Well, but it felt like he did,’ Sungyeol pouts as he protectively huddles the smaller body closer to his chest, ’besides, nobody else understands me like Dongwooie does, especially not your grumpy boss child.' 

 

Myungsoo hates when the pastry chef calls him that. He knows he's young but it's not like he can help it. Without honouring him with an answer, Myungsoo returns to his papers. The two keep talking about whatever nonsense they usually do, paying him no heed.

 

Time flows quickly after that. He’s almost done with everything by the time Sunggyu and Woohyun arrive. 

 

‘Hey,’ he greets unenthusiastically and receives an equally unenthusiastic answer from the older. Woohyun barely acknowledges his presence at all, leaving straight for the kitchen to bicker with Sungyeol, no doubts. 

 

Sometimes Myungsoo wonders how did Sunggyu ever score the job of a barista or how did they ever let Woohyun work in the same kitchen as Sungyeol. All they ever do is throw insults at each other all day, every day. 

 

So yeah, running a small successful business is hard. And Myungsoo is cursed with having a gloomy barista, a hot but married delivery guy and a pantry chef who hates his pastry chef with the burning passion of a hot oven. 

 

***

 

'Oh wow, that's a really beautiful one!' Dongwoo says as he peers inside of the box that Sungyeol hands him.

 

Today's order is a particularly weird one. The client wanted a penis which has wings and flowers at the base. 

 

'They are very fragile, Dino, so please be careful,' Sungyeol pleads with a small smile on his lips as he closes the box. There’s something akin to adoration in his eyes. 

 

'Yeah. It looks like an angel,' Dongwoo agrees, sharing the same passion that the other has for the damn cake and Myungsoo frowns. 

 

'That's a winged penis, not an angel,' Woohyun comments before Myungsoo manages to, Sungyeol and Dongwoo both turning to him with scandalised expressions. 

 

'That's a work of art!'

'It's obvious the client put a lot of thought in it!’

 

They both try justifying the winged creature and it's all a big mess. Woohyun turns his nose up, heading back to the kitchen, while Dongwoo puts a comforting hand on Sungyeol’s shoulder, asking him is he's OK. 

 

Myungsoo feels a bit confused at the scene because he knows Sungyeol and Woohyun don't get along but he never asked for the reason why. He feels like he's missing something but he cannot quite put his finger on what it is. 

 

He later goes over to Sunggyu and asks him if he knows why Sungyeol and Woohyun don’t get along. The barista looks at him with eyes full of pity - something Myungsoo does not want to experience too often - before he returns to arranging his coffee cups. 

 

'You're as ignorant and you're good looking, Myungsoo, and don't take is as a compliment,’ Sunggyu says with his lips pulled into a thin line, ‘because you're a model material, trust me.'

 

Myungsoo spends the rest of the day mulling over those words but he honestly doesn't get it. Why is he ignorant? He's a very attentive person and he pays all his employees on time. He makes sure that each of them gets at least one day off a week and he tries to give them a bonus every holiday. If someone's being ignorant, it's Sunggyu, he decides before biting into a leftover lemon tart.

 

Sungyeol really makes the best cakes when not busy with those penises.   

 

***

 

Things start changing when one of their clients refuses the order. 

 

Myungsoo storms inside the kitchen, red in the face and seething, because-

 

‘This is not an eight inch penis, Sungyeol!’ 

 

The pastry chef looks up from where he’s cutting tiny flowers into a pink marzipan mass, then raises an eyebrow as if questioning the other’s sanity.

 

‘The client said that this is not an eight inch penis. It’s at least ten inches or something. You made it way too big,’ and he throws the box in front of him. Sungyeol calmly opens it, observes the cake inside, then closes it and pushes the box back. 

 

‘That’s eight inches, Myungsoo, trust me. Whatever she’s saying, her boyfriend's been overcompensating.’

 

Myungsoo frowns, peeking in the box once again, and then shakes his head.

 

‘But the client isn’t happy.’

 

‘So what? Excuse me, but if the order states eight inches I’m going to make it eight inches! How do you expect me to make it six inches and still keep everyone happy when the boyfriend clearly has issues with his own size? I’m a chef, Myungsoo, not a therapist,’ and he returns to his flowers, ignoring the other's fuming. Myungsoo thinks he’s lucky that Woohyun isn’t here because Woohyun would surely have a lot to say about this. 

 

It’s just the two of them today because it’s a day off for the rest of the team. Sungyeol agreed to come in to finish some last-minute orders so he should be grateful but-

 

‘How do you know what an eight inch penis looks like anyway?’ he huffs, still not quite believing that eight inches are quite that much.

 

‘I’m gay, Myungsoo, what do you think how?’ Sungyeol looks up at him and it blows the other’s mind. 

 

They’ve been working together for over a year and he never noticed. Not even a hint. And does that mean Sungyeol has a boyfriend with an eight inch long penis? Does he have an eight inch penis?

 

Myungsoo throws a quick glance at the other’s crotch and-

 

_Naah_

 

But really, he’s floored. How comes he never-

 

‘And yeah, you are the only one who didn’t know,’ Sungyeol adds, making all Myungsoo’s thoughts screech to a sudden halt because the other sounds hurt. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to do after that so he shuffles around for a bit before leaving awkwardly. 

 

He takes the cake with him.

 

***

 

The knowledge that Sungyeol is gay doesn’t leave him alone the next day. Or the day after. Or every single day after that.

 

So they both are gay, great, but Sungyeol is not his type. He’s entirely too tall, has a stupid looking face and is a bit of a dunce.

 

'Good morning, Myungsoo!' the man in question beams at him when he's once again sitting at the small metal table, buried among the countless papers demanding his attention. 

 

'You work so hard every morning, boss child. Please take good care of your health,' the pastry chef says, shaking the snow out of his hair. 

 

Myungsoo wonders why he never wears a hat. Myungsoo also wonders what else he hasn't noticed since he started working here. 

 

To be honest, he never thought of becoming a small business owner. It's just that his father fell ill last year and he had to take over (for a while, he'd said, ha!) and ever since then he's been doing everything full time. Everyone working here - Sunggyu, Dongwoo and the two chefs - were already present when he arrived so he didn't think much of it. He just accepted it as a reality that Sunggyu was always gloomy, Woohyun and Sungyeol didn't get along and Dongwoo was hot. But he never gave it much thoughts.

 

Now, however, he's curious. 

 

'Yeah, I'll make sure that I do,’ he mutters as he watches the other disappearing into the kitchen, the same happy expression as always plastered on his face. 

 

Lately he's been observing things happening around him a bit more.

 

Sungyeol always arrives first, then Sunggyu or Dongwoo but they do not have a particular order, and finally Woohyun. Woohyun is always last to come in and last to leave. Myungsoo wonders why the two chefs avoid each other like death but he doesn't know whom to ask. Sunggyu obviously thinks he's an idiot and Dongwoo would not tell him even if he asked. So that only leaves him with one person.

 

'Hey, Sungyeol!' he yells, determination set in his voice. The other's head pops out of the kitchen, hair pulled into a ponytail and it's kind of adorable, not that Myungsoo finds him adorable or anything.

 

'Why are you and Woohyun on such bad terms?'

 

'Oh, a bad break up,’ the chef explains nonchalantly before giving him a brilliant smile and disappearing back into the kitchen. 

 

Myungsoo cannot help but stare at Woohyun's crotch every single time he passes him by that day.    

 

***

 

There's one period in the entire year Myungsoo hates more than any other period in the entire year. 

 

It's February 13th and all hell breaks loose. 

 

They have at least seven new orders of penis cakes for Valentine’s and Sungyeol's sick. He comes to work anyway and looks like death warmed over, twice.

 

The moment he steps his foot in the cafe, Myungsoo almost sends him back home. Almost. But then Sungyeol complains that he's going to work whether Myungsoo likes it or not, and he leaves him be.

 

'I don't understand why you're so persistent,’ he tells him when the other takes his hat off and then the huge ass scarf covering his entire face, 'It's not like it's a life or death issue. So OK, some clients won’t receive their orders on time and sure it will cost us a fortune but it's nothing to kill yourself over.'

 

'But I don't want them to be disappointed,’ the pastry chef says stubbornly even if his voice is quiet as he slowly makes his way over to his working place. Myungsoo follows him to see if he needs some help and maybe to watch if he doesn't pass out in the cake batter. 

 

'They may seem like simple orders to you, Myungsoo,' he says as he gathers his tools and starts measuring the ingredients, 'but the clients... they- they put a lot of thoughts into these things, okay? The details they ask for, like the flowers or extra veins or drops of cream on the head, it's very personal to them. It shows that they care and that they want their lovers to feel appreciated. I know it may sound silly as these are just cakes but- I think it’s sweet. I want to make them happy.’

 

Myungsoo's never heard anyone talk about dick-shaped anything so poetically before so he guesses it's one of those Sungyeol-specific things he will never understand. He nods and leaves the other to work in peace because it doesn't seem like he will pass out anytime soon.

 

When Dongwoo comes in, he's really concerned, and Sunggyu goes to ask Sungyeol how he's feeling every fifteen minutes that day. Even Woohyun, who usually insults him the first thing in the morning, is less hostile. And somehow that leaves a bad taste in Myungsoo's mouth when he sees them together at the end of the day, the taller leaning tiredly on the other's shoulder. 

 

So what if Woohyun has an eight inch penis, Myungsoo fumes as he goes home, wet snow slapping in his face. It's not the size that matters, it’s the person behind.  

 

***

 

'This is for you.' 

 

Myungsoo looks up at the taller, a wide gummy smile looking back at him. He's been so busy with his papers this morning, he didn't even notice the other coming in.

 

'What is?' he asks the pastry chef, curiosity reflecting in his eyes. 

 

'This,’ Sungyeol says almost aggressively and plants the box on his table. He escapes to the kitchen right after. 

 

Myungsoo smiles after him in confusion but pulls the box closer with interest. 

 

It's a freaking penis cake, he realises when he lifts the top off, his eyes widening in surprise at how beautiful it is. There's a dark red ribbon at the base of it with 'happy birthday, Myungsoo' written in gold letter. The head is decorated with a tiny flower crown, pretty pearl-drops dotted along the entire eight inches of it. 

 

'Oh. Wow,’ he isn't sure what the correct response is as he's never received a penis cake for his birthday before, but he's quite shocked.

 

If he has to be honest, he never thought that Sungyeol of all people would give him one. But the longer he looks at the cake and the tiny details added to it, the more he remembers what the pastry chef said about the customers and their orders, and some things click together in his mind.

 

Myungsoo puts the gift away, silently making his way over to the kitchen. He stops in the doorway, eyes falling onto the other's back. Sungyeol is mixing cake batter in one of the big bowls and his face is turned away from him.

 

He probably is blushing. 

 

So maybe Sungyeol is not his ideal type, Myungsoo thinks as his eyes sweep over the lean frame and the long legs, but he's pretty sure he could fit the other in his arms somehow. Beside, he has the cutest gummy smile he's ever seen - even cuter than Dongwoo's - and that’s saying something. Myungsoo thinks he can fit that level of positivity somewhere in his life.    

 

'You know you're flattering me with those eight inches that you made,’ he says as he pushes himself off the doorframe and makes his way over to where the other is standing, 'because it's more like average sized, six inches at max and there’s no flowers growing on the top,' he peeks at Sungyeol from the side and, sure, he's all red-faced. 

 

For a guy who makes penis cakes for a living, he’s awfully shy. But that's also cute, Myungsoo thinks and presses a kiss to the other's plump cheek. 

 

Startled, Sungyeol turns to look at him. 

 

'I just wanted you to know, that’s all, so don't you dare to complain about it later when you see it for yourself,’ Myungsoo says almost defensively and shrugs as he takes a step back. He sure hopes he hasn’t misread the signs because then he’s in a really awkward situation here.

 

Sungyeol observes him with caution for a while before he blooms into the sweetest smile Myungsoo’s seen to date. 

 

'Ah, but you know it's not the size that matters,’ the pastry chef says as he puts the bowl down and takes a step closer, ‘it's the man that's behind,’ he leans in, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

 

Myungsoo’s eyes fall to the other’s lips and he unconsciously drags his tongue over his own, wondering if Sungyeol tastes as sweet as he’s looking right now.

 

***

 

'Oh, good, finally,' Sunggyu grumbles at them when he comes in an hour later, only to find Myungsoo with his tongue down Sungyeol's throat.

 

'I thought you two will never stop flirting over those damned penis cakes of yours,' he adds as he drags himself to the coffee machine, determined to make the first fresh pot of the morning.  

 

 

_end_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sad that the original reveal didn't go as planned but I hope the prompter will see and enjoy the fic! <3


End file.
